I Am A Work of Art (with a messy room)

There is this raging battle going on with me right now in this life. I am battling a lot of emotional stuff that at times includes depression, unhappiness, anxiety, fear...a spirit crushing time in my life. I've had heartache after heartache off and on over the last 6 to 7 years. From having a miscarriage, marital discontent to losing 2 important people in my life; my Mom and my big brother. These things have left scars on my heart that run deep inside of me. Instead of turning to God for some of these things, I turned to food, alcohol, and sex. Yeah, I am putting that out there. You see, these are all forms of self sabotage. I know this now after counseling and yes, even praying. I craved those things more than I craved God. I did not love me. I think mostly I did not feel any kind of self worth. I didn't know that I was loved. I often looked in the mirror with anguish and tears, "How could God love someone like me? I am damaged." These thoughts threatened to cau...

Here we are again, getting ready to start another study through Proverbs 31 and Melissa Taylor's online bible studies. This time we are going to study Made To Crave. There were many reasons I chose to participate in this study (some selfish, some spiritual): 1. I love my OBS group. They have been my support and my friends. 2. I love the flexibility of an online study. 3. I love being able to blog freely as I love writing. 4. I have grown spiritually through the studies from last year. 5. I am being fed spiritually. 6. I hope this study is not just about food cravings. I crave food and I am an emotional eater. 7. I feel like I was "Made to Crave God". I am thirsty for more when it comes to learning about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. 8. There are many things I crave that do not glorify God (I smoke cigarettes and want to quit. I crave food. I crave attention...good or bad.). I crave things that don't put God first in my life and I want to learn how to ove...